When being Sporty comes with a Cost

I being a non-smoker, non-drinker and a vegan do not find pubs and bars an inclusive place to visit for team outings. But things become too dramatic at times when there is too much of emotional blackmailing.

“Oh come on, Neeraj, you are not a sport,” a colleague said in a team meeting when I expressed my inability to join for a dinner. In our context, dinner implies boozing.

Now that’s something hard to deal with. Yes, I am a sportive and supportive person, I thought.

“Let’s do it!” I said, as I surrendered to their cravings to spend an evening at a pub at Koregaon Park. The pub was named “Talli” which literally explains what customers expect being here.

Apparently, we were a team of four — two were drinkers and two of us who were non-drinkers and vegans. We reached the venue around 7:30 PM and the pub did the right job by demanding a government identity proof.

“I am not a drinker. Why do I need to produce my Aadhaar card?” I said to the reception person, realising that I may create an unnecessary record with them. For a moment, that made me think I was a misplaced person visiting a wrong place. The other two colleagues produced their proof of identity which was scanned by the reception. A wristband was attached to their hands that gave them a special privilege to be high. I looked at my wrist and that of my other female colleague — both empty — a blank look filled with exclusivity and awkwardness.

The place gradually started filling with people as our table filled with bottles of liquor, beer and non-vegetarian starters. With the fear of missing out, we had a careful look at the vegetarian menu/starters.

“Edamame? And probably some paneer mushrooms,” the other vegan colleague suggested. When it comes to ordering food, I usually refrain from being the first to suggest for a simple reason — I do not want to snatch away the liberty to choose food from others.

“Yes, of course,” I agreed. I had probably heard “Edamame” for the first time. It’s good to try something new. We all do it, right? I thought. After all, a hungry person has no preferences. Adding to our adventures, the dish turned out to be a disaster. There was nothing to eat except two seeds and a whole lotta garbage - an expensive garbage indeed.

“That’s something new to try! Of course!” exclaimed the other colleagues as they grabbed a share of the vegan starters after gulping a bite of meat drenched with a sip of beer. Soon I realised that the portion size of the other dishes too no way made justice to the price tag it came with. The dishes kept coming both vegan and non vegetarian - the vegan dishes were shared. And this is what I hate - Non vegetarian are vegetarians too. The ones without ethical eating habits too are ethical eaters. 

But for us, this was followed by moments of wait — with our stares at the plates filled with chicken starters waiting to be picked up, and with our empty vegan plates waiting to be refilled.

In order to fill the time and to pretend we were drinking too, we ordered a mocktail - again the one that wasn’t worth the price tag. I started missing the sweet nimbu pani that my 9 year old prepared for me last Sunday.

“Are you enjoying, Neeraj?” asked the colleague sipping another bottle of liquor now his eyes red— eyes that now saw me as a sporty man. 

Gathering immense strength, I nodded.

“I love you, Neeraj!” he shouted as he hugged me. I returned it to him as I held my breath, trying to find fresh air within the smoke of cigarettes. I have always avoided passive smoking but here, there was no escape.

I looked at the watch. It was 10:15 PM and I was hoping to see the bill. Knowing it was not a sponsored one, it made sense to review it by someone who was in a position to do it.

“We will pay it!” the other colleagues yelled, by now in their highest spirits of tranquillity. Apparently, they were in a no mood to leave the place. We left the worries of splitting the bill after realising that they weren’t done yet. 

“It was a Great team bonding”, I said as I left the place with the other colleague. 

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion - these words kept rolling over into my mind as I left the bar that night. It was late night and worth our stomachs half filled, we found some local sensible eateries on our way home to get them filled.